Adam And Eve: Story Of The First Cuck

Most everyone in the West knows the story of Adam and Eve.  Yet do they really know the sinister implications of the actual words in the bible which describe what they did?  We are gonna analyze this mythos and try to answer the question.  Was Adam made to be a cuck by Eve?

In The Beginning

So according to this story we have Adam who lives in a garden.  His pal in the sky, God hangs out with him in the garden and gives him cool creatures to play with.  Allowing Adam to give them names as well.   At some point Adam wants some pussy and is like

“Yo God.  Sup brah?  This pp is really lonely”.

In turn God knocks him over the head and pulls a rib out, which then becomes Eve.  Now up to this point he had never seen a woman.  So I imagine that little red rocket was just about ready for blast off.  Lets be honest.  The thirst was through the roof at this point people.

But all is not well in the garden.

You see there was some kind of serpent roaming about in God’s garden.  A neighborhood bad boy that likes to run game.  This wily serpent goes right up to Eve’s naked, salubrious, curvy, little sexy body and spies him a ONS.

We find that in Genesis 3:1 A serpent appears to Eve.  Now it is of utmost importance to realize here that the word for serpent does not mean a literal serpent.  The word for serpent here means magician, enchanter or spellbinder.  This can be verified using a Strong’s Concordance as well.  In Gen 3:1 we read that the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field.  The word for subtle here means cunning or crafty.  Also of note is that the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil is not an actual tree.  This language was used to describe peoples and nations in a figurative sense.  For examples of this throughout the bible, see Ezek 31:3-9, Jer 11:19 and Matt 3:10

So this tree was off limits to Adam and Eve.  Now the smooth talking serpent slides on in and runs hella game on this ho.  The serpent leads Eve astray and tempts her to eat of the fruit of the forbidden tree.

But was leading Eve astray simply a matter of eating a literal piece of fruit?

Follow Me Here

Back in Gen 2:25 we see that Adam and Eve were not ashamed of their nakedness.  After the serpent leads Eve astray who then influences Adam (bitch move Adam) to go astray.  We see that they are both ashamed of their bodies.  Now why in the fuck would YOU be ashamed of your body if all you did was eat some fruit?

Back in Gen 3:3 we see Eve tell the serpent that neither she nor Adam can even ‘touch’ the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.  The word touch here means to lay hands on or ‘to lie with’.  So now we see in Gen 3:13 that when questioned by God, Eve says that the serpent “beguiled” her.  The word for beguile here is to seduce someone!  Do you realize what this means?

According to this mythos, the crown of all creation..Eve.  Got fucked first by the ultimate bad guy.  Satan!

Not only that but even before Satan’s devil sperm went cold inside Eve’s now defiled vagina.  She went back to fuck Adam as well so as to pacify any suspicion from him.  This raises the question that the grand sin which caused both Adam and Eve to be kicked out of the garden was sexual in nature.

Shockingly enough we then see the bible tell us that two different seed lines were going to come out of Eve.  So here God is allowing or perhaps even had it designed that Adam was to be cucked!

Wtf Adam?

I really don’t have any sympathy for this guy.  So he was the almighty creator’s number one dude on earth.  He was willing to throw that away for some recently fucked pussy by the neighborhood jerkboydevil?  Adam, the fuck you thinkin?

I could really get behind this story if it went something like this.

Instead of meekly accepting the offer that he partake of the fruit.  Adam chokes Eve and works that bitch over like Ike Turner.  Only Adam chokes that skank to death.  Then dragging her pale and pretty little corpse before God, he says

“This one is broken.  Make me another.”

I could really get behind that.  Unfortunately it wasn’t in the cards for our boy Adam.  In fact it only gets worse from here.

Later on we see that Eve had a peculiar rarity of fraternal twins.  Which means twins of two men’s sperm!  Cain must have looked nothing like Adam.  In fact he was definitely much different in temperament.  Even God Himself didn’t like Cain.   I wonder if Eve loved Cain more since he came from the charming bad boy and not the dutiful cuck?

Regardless Cain ends up flipping out and killing Abel.  On the one hand it really wasn’t his fault he was Satan’s son.  Why did God hafta be hatin?

The fucked up thing is I bet Adam still had to make those child support payments.


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